Redefining Holiday Spirit: The Upside of Anger and How to Turn it into a Seasonal Superpower.

Thanksgiving is when many of us pause to reflect on what we’re grateful for—our loved ones, achievements, challenges, and even the simple joys of life. It’s a moment for us to focus on abundance and appreciate the beauty of the journey so far. Yet, for many, the holiday season brings its own set of challenges: stress, anxiety, and heightened emotions. This year, as tensions run high—whether from personal dynamics or the larger cultural climate—I’m focused on using these emotions, particularly anger, to foster growth instead of depleting energy.

Instead of allowing irritation, judgment, or jealousy to fester, I will welcome them as unexpected gifts —Easter eggs in the game of life. Their arrival serves as hidden clues, pointing to areas where more intention and attention are needed. This reframing has been transformative, helping me navigate the emotional highs and lows that the holidays often bring.

I now see these emotions as guides rather than obstacles, showing me where to grow, let go or embrace my truth. Like markers on a map, they help me unlock clarity and alignment, revealing treasures I didn’t even know I was searching for. I also started to view anger in all forms—impatience, irritation, envy, and dismissiveness—not as something to suppress but as an invitation to roll my sleeves up and explore. These feelings carry messages, pointing toward areas of growth and alignment.

For example, irritation often highlights boundaries I’ve neglected to set. Envy uncovers dreams I’ve buried or forgotten. Dismissiveness shows me where I’m afraid to be vulnerable. In this way, anger becomes a tool—not to lash out, but to look within.

Reframing Anger for the Holidays

The holidays are fertile ground for agitation. There’s the pressure to meet expectations, navigate tricky family dynamics, and balance the sheer logistics of the season. But I’m finding that each moment of frustration is an invitation to reflect.

What is the agitation or resentment asking me to acknowledge? Is it showing me where I’m over-committing? Who and what am I avoiding? Revealing ways I’m neglecting myself?

These moments of frustration also reveal a powerful theme: contrast. When anger surfaces, it highlights areas I’ve overlooked or neglected—places needing care, nurturing, and attention.

For example, irritation from a hectic schedule often signals a need to prioritize rest. When envy creeps in, it uncovers dreams I’ve let drift too far away. These moments of contrast help me see the gaps between where I am and where I want to be—showing me where to bring more intention and attention. Instead of dismissing these feelings, I’m learning to see them as allies—anger and contrast work together, shining a light on areas for growth and potential.

15 Seconds of Anger

I recently heard someone say that anger only lasts about 15 seconds. Harvard brain scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor expands on this, explaining:

“When a person reacts to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body. After that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”

That’s it—a flash of intensity, a storm in a canyon, or a bolt of lightning. What happens next? That’s where the real story begins.

In those 90 seconds, anger has the potential to act as a powerful signal—a warning light on the dashboard of your life. But beyond those initial moments, what we do with it becomes a choice. Can we let it linger, feeding the loop, or can we use it as a catalyst? 

 With the upcoming holiday and the recent release of “Wicked,” I can’t help but refer to my favorite heroine, Dorothy, again. I find myself reflecting on the journeys we all take toward understanding ourselves. Dorothy’s trek down the Yellow Brick Road comes to mind—each challenge she faced, and character she encountered demanded her attention, ultimately guiding her closer to home. Along the way, her companions—the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion—represented qualities she needed to find within herself: wisdom, heart, and courage.

Similarly, emotions like anger, irritation, and envy are our unexpected companions on the road to self-discovery. They may not be as endearing as Dorothy’s friends, but they serve a similar purpose: pointing us toward areas of growth and alignment. Anger reminds us to think critically about what’s no longer working in our lives (wisdom). It challenges us to open up and process emotions that may make us feel vulnerable (heart). And it asks us to stand firm in our truth, even when it’s uncomfortable (courage).

Every moment of contrast—irritation, frustration, or envy—serves as a signpost on the Yellow Brick Road, highlighting areas in our lives that need attention or adjustment. The more we recognize these markers—such as boundaries that need to be reinforced, dreams that require revisiting, and truths that need to be acknowledged—the clearer the path to clarity and fulfillment becomes.

I’m embracing the awkward discomfort of learning from my emotions this holiday season. While anger and its companions may seem intense and complicated, they often lead us to a place of calm, clarity, alignment, and fulfillment. Like Dorothy and her friends, our journey is not solely about the destination; it’s about the valuable lessons we learn along the way.

I wish you a holiday season filled with warmth, joy, and moments of insight from unexpected sources. Sometimes, it is through challenges and contrasts that we realize what we've been searching for has been within us all along.